This is just me showing off a little bit. I just finished my second semester of sign language and I am SO in love with it. It is just such a fun and beautiful language.
For our final, we needed to learn a song in sign. We performed it for the class to receive "constructive criticism" and then we needed to record it for the final grade.
The song that I picked is Safetysuit's "Never Stop." I simply love this song; probably the main reason that I do is because of what it really means for me. Like so many other girls and women, I was in a really difficult friendship with a guy that I was, consequently, in love with. He called me names, commented on how I looked, shut me out for days at a time, and overall just made me feel like crap.
It took a long time for me to really deal with the affects of that relationships, including a lot of negative body issues that were a result of never feeling skinny enough, pretty enough, and overall, just good enough for this individual.
Even though, I would never wish that experience on anyone, I can honestly say that if I wouldn't change it if I could, simply because it made me the person that I am today. And today I am so much stronger, independent, and happy with myself. Now, I would never cower in a corner while someone was telling me what is wrong with me; I would tell them to their face that they are wrong.
For me, this song is a promise of the future; a promise that someday, I will find someone who loves and truly wants to be with me, for exactly the way that I am. It also reminds me while I may not have that "special someone" in my life right now, I do have a lot of love from my wonderful friends and my amazing family. And more importantly I have learned that loving yourself is one of the most important types of love.
I was really stuck and hurting for a long time, between letting the past haunt me and getting to where I wanted to be, when I received words of wisdom from a blue butted baboon. (Bet you didn't see that one coming!) In all seriousness though, these words came from Raifki in the Lion King, when he is talking to Adult Simba about why he should stop running from his past and return to Pride Rock: “Oh yes, the past can hurt. But, from the way I see it: you can either run from it OR you can learn from it.” These words are so true. I was not surprised to learn at all that Raifki in Swahili means “friend.”
If anyone is going through something similar, whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a friend, please click here for more information, or feel free to contact me, and remember, that love is not abuse.